Thursday, March 23, 2006

Woman for a day

It's the most bizarre thing, really. I woke up this morning, ready to greet a brand new day with a wink and a smile (and perhaps a jig), and when I hopped out of bed I realized that I didn't have my usual case of morning wood. In fact, there was no wood at all. I made sure to check that it didn't fall off during the night, as it has in the past: in those cases, a bit of super glue and some drywall hangers usually did the trick.

No, the whole package was gone, in fact- replaced by the standard woman's parts down there. Nor indeed had I been oblivious to the fact that I was now sporting two large breasts. I turned left and right and watched them move around in the mirror.

An hour later, I noticed my face had changed as well. Gone was the stubble I went to sleep with. Instead, curly dark hair cascaded down to my shoulders, framing my now-feminine face. So, I had changed into a woman overnight: well, I've heard this sort of thing could happen, particularly if you didn't have enough potassium in your diet and I hadn't had a bananna in over a month. Fortunately, the effects were temporary and would wear off in 24 hours.

Unfortunately, when I called into work sick, they thought I was faking. "That's the worst female voice I've ever heard", the receptionist said. I finally got transferred to my boss and convinced him that I was my wife, and that I was very, very sick and would be in tomorrow. He didn't seem to care, so I hung up the phone, and tried to scratch my crotch, but I realized sadly that I couldn't do it anymore.

I jumped into the shower and turned on the water, and then found out just how sensitive different parts of the female anatomy are. As it warmed up, I happily thought that at least I didn't have to shave, but that myth was dispelled when I looked at my legs. Okay, well, how hard can it be to shave one's legs, I thought.

To her credit, my wife didn't pass out when she found a woman with a dozen bloody cuts on her legs in her shower. She did scream, though, ear-splittingly loud. She finally calmed down when I showed her my wedding ring (which was slipping off my finger). "Well," she said, "get out of the shower- it's my turn, and I have to go to work. Must be nice to have a day off," she mocked as she shut the shower door.

I toweled off, and then looked at my breasts for a while. When I looked up, my wife was staring at me and rolled her eyes. I mentioned that we should take advantage of the situation and approached her. She responded calmly, hitting me with her hairbrush. So that was out.

I complained that I didn't have anything to wear, so she told me to borrow some of her stuff. So I grabbed a thong, some stockings, a skirt and a blouse. That should do, I thought, and quickly dressed. God, my legs were so warm in those stockings. I asked my wife if my butt looked big in the skirt. She deadpanned that no, it was my big butt that made it look big. Bitch.

She left for work and I was home alone.

All alone.

I quickly removed all of the clothes I had put on and climbed back into bed.

And what I did there constituted the rest of my day.

Oh, sure, I could have gone out shopping or seen how people viewed me, but the fact of the matter was that I had female parts and I made the most of it, in my mind.

Next time, I'll do all that stuff. Really. I won't just stay at home and pleasure myself for 12 hours straight.



At 3:10 PM, Blogger ChickyBabe said...

I see the lack of potassium didn't affect your male brain for 24 hours! :P

Funny, I would have thought you would have kept the thong on for a little longer, and spent more time in front of the mirror! But heh... So what did you do for the remaining 12 hours?

When I was a man for 24 hours, I got up to a lot more mischief!

Nicely done, Mahd! :)

At 1:32 PM, Blogger sheriff of nothing said...

You go Mahd!! You certainly picked the best option - going back to bed, its amazing what 'us girls' can do!!!

At 3:59 AM, Blogger chica bonita said...

go shopping then go back to bed! and donate your shopping spree stuff to me the very next day! :-D

At 10:17 PM, Blogger Mahd said...

ChickyBabe, come now: I noticed the last three steps of being a man! The last 12 hours? Well, I'll leave that to the reader's imagination...

sheriff of nothing, Absolutely. You see, as a man I can go shopping, do my hair...but there's one or two things I can't why not take advantage!

chica bonita, I'll be sure to remember that next time I'm out of bananas!

At 10:23 PM, Blogger Fitèna said...

Hey this is real cool!! I wish I had an imagination as bebordante as yours!! Been seeing you at Chicky's... did good dropping by today!!!


At 12:40 AM, Blogger ChickyBabe said...

At least I spent my last 3 steps of being a man with a woman! You could have equally done the same. Your lovely wife could have come home and... well if you leave it to this reader's imagination, that's what you get! :P


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