What sexy is...
In addition to my normal job, I am also a licensed and bonded sexologist, with advanced degrees in fornicology and communications. Sexual communications.
Do you know what sexy is? I do, and I will share them with you now.
*Sexy is giving your partner a deep, passionate kiss
*Unsexy is giving your partner a deep, passionate kiss.. on their nose.
*Sexy is lighting scented candles around the room and scattering rose petals on the sheets.
*Unsexy is lighting novelty fart scented candles and scattering rose stems on the sheets.
*Sexy is putting a little bit of your favorite romantic music on softly to set the mood
*Unsexy is if your favorite romantic music is a German death metal band.
*Sexy is having your partner dress up in revealing lingerie
*Unsexy is dressing up in your partner's revealing lingerie, then surprising them when they come home
*Sexy is role-playing: doctor and nurse, for example
*Unsexy is role-playing Borg and Klingon
*Sexy is tying your partner to the bedposts with satin for a little unconventional fun
*Unsexy is forgetting about them and coming back a week later.
*Sexy is gently caressing your partner's skin with your hands
*Unsexy is making a "beep" noise while squeezing their boobs.
*Sexy is talking dirty while you make love
*Unsexy is talking like a pirate while you make love
*Sexy is her bringing her best friend into bed with you...who is a fashion model.
*Unsexy is her bringing her best friend into bed with you...who is a truck driver.
*Sexy is her telling you her fantasies.
*Unsexy is you telling her your fantasies that involve rope, wall hooks and lots of mayonaisse.
*Sexy is fulfilling the other person's every desire
*Unsexy is asking "Where do I put it?" for the third time.
Now that you know the rules, go forth and...uh...be sexy.
posted by Mahd @ 2:16 PM
10 comments
10 Comments:
Sexy is role-playing Borg and Klingon as long as I'm the Borg because resitance is futile! Once you've been slapped by the Borg ... :P
Beep ~grin~ :) may I email this arund the office?
"Unsexy is role-playing Borg and Klingon". Who are Borg and Klingon?
Fornicology? :-)
I liked the fart scented candles cause I actually missed the "fart" and had to reread before finding out what is unsexy about it!
Fitèna
sexy is going shopping with your girlfriend and pays for her stuff.
unsexy is asking the money back later.
doctor and nurse? don't we need a patient too? ;-)
but really, i can't imagine myself having threesome. hmm...
so is that rope and mayonaisse part true?
ChickyBabe, I think you're the Borg Queen, in that case :)
Scorpy, go for it- just don't blame me if you suddenly find yourself unemployed.
Fitena, You're a reminder that pop culture sometimes misses people. Borg and Klingon are Star Trek references...and that's the simplest way of putting it. Fornicology is a made-up field of study, much like my actual field of study is.
chica bonita, my wife will love you for that one.
Threesomes...hmm...I guess it depends what kind of doctor I am?
I read once that listing three unrelated things in such a way leaves it to the dirty mind of whoever is reading...but if it has to be mayonaisse, might as well have the light stuff.
Chica - I would have thought you'd be the whipped cream type, not mayo! :P
Mahd - I am the Borg Queen! :)
ChickyBabe, I know it! I've already been assimilated by you. Wow, that sounds geekier typed out than spoken.
sheriff of nothing, I thought I might get picketed by the Sexy Truck Drivers Association!
My fantasies? Oh...um...I think I'm going to blush now...
chickybabe, i actually think mayo is a bit icky for my liking. whipped cream is definitely much better. ;-)
come on mahd tell us your fantasies already! it's not good to keep girls waiting for an answer. hehe
chica bonita, that's so personal. If you can guess them, I'll tell you yes or no. :P And it may even be the truth
excellent.
Thanks for the laff.
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