Friday, June 17, 2005

Your gateway to ADVENTURE!

Hello and welcome back to the Milk show. Before I get started on my main topic about adventure and vacationing, I'd like to say something about Guantanamo Bay, which might be a vacation and adventure for those incarcerated there.

Recently, and by that I mean since it was opened, Guantanamo Bay in Cuba has been a somewhat controversial place. Apparently, it was promised to be a 4-star luxury hotel, but because of some bad reviews, it was rated as a 2-star motel. Oh- and the torture, there was some torture.

Interestingly, one of the main arguments the defenders of the base/jail maintain is, "We're not as bad as Saddam/Hitler/Vader/etc". I'm not sure if that actually qualifies as a defense. It's like when Chris Rock talks about people being proud of things that they're supposed to do; "I take care of my kids!"- well, yes, but that should be beyond question. Similarly, isn't it a given that we act better than murderous dictators and alien overlords? They need to frame the argument correctly, and focus on the positives for the inmates:

-Much less chance of being bombed by the US than if you were home.

-When you leave, get a t-shirt that says "I was incarcerated without a trial for an indeterminate amount of time and all I got was this lousy t-shirt". Mugs also available.

-Flush toilets that can handle any kind of action, from waste products to, let's say, books.

-Savage beatings only to within a foot of your life, rather than an inch.


-Escape means you can live in the wonderous island paradise of Cuba

Really, why is there any outcry at all? We've taken these people from their horrible, bombed-out existences and given them new, bright orange clothes, furnished them with bright shiny bling/manacles and have taught them about the wonderous free society that is America. Surely, whenever they gratefully return to their families they will be good-natured and forgiving about their detention.

Well, the wind is out of my sails for now. My vinegar is devoid of piss. Therefore, I will return later with a story of a young boy who learned what it was like to swim with dolphins, but more importantly, he learned how to cry. Or something like that


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